Halloween Confessions

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by Erica McDermott

I already went to confession and have been forgiven for this.

Not really, but it makes me sound like a better person from the start. If I had gone, my sin confessed would be “I manipulated my children into choosing the Halloween costumes I liked best.”

Am I a horrible person for this? Hell NO. I’m not a complete lunatic… they had options, I was raised in America after all. ‘Freedom to Choose’ .. .from my favorites.

Maisy and Katie are my daughters, Maisy is one year older than Katie. They are very close and most days they get along well. When they were younger, they liked to dress alike. They never liked to match exactly, but they liked to coordinate. They’d tell me they chose this way of dressing so they could find each other quickly in a room. How sweet, right?

So, naturally when Halloween time came around I’d present them with Coordinating Halloween Costume options. It kind of went like this: “Hey Girls!!! Look at these AMAZING Cowgirl Costumes I found on Amazon. Aren’t they super cute? I think you two would be the prettiest cowgirls on this side of the Mississippi! If you LOVE them Mum will buy them right now for you!! Do you LOVE them? You do? OK!” – ‘click’ and it was that easy.  They said they loved the costume, it was my first choice, and I bought it, EASY. We were all happy!

For the most part, this method worked out beautifully when they were younger We have gorgeous photos of The Angel & The Devil, Cowgirls, Disney Princesses, Harry Potter Characters and  The Gals from GREASE. However, one year all hell broke loose.

Both girls were in pre-school. We had watched the entire Muppet Show series and I thought it would be adorable if they dressed up as Kermit and Miss Piggy for Halloween. I mentioned this idea to the girls and they were out-of-their minds excited about it. They screamed “YES” and proceeded to gallop around our kitchen singing the show’s theme song!

I was so pumped about this specific Halloween. It really is one of my favorite days, and I’m a huge fan of the Muppets. (I hope I didn’t just hear you roll your eyes) Finding little Muppet costumes was not going to be easy. Luckily, I found them. I’d never seen costumes like these before. Each was a head-to-toe one piece outfit that zipped up the back, with a hood that had a stuffed animal Kermit head & Miss Piggy head sewn onto the top of them.  Although they were not what I envisioned, I bought them anyway (because dammit my kids are going as Muppets this year). Impulsive Mom much? You bet!

The costumes arrived the day before we needed them. I threw them into a closet and hoped to God they’d fit the next day. What happened next? The “Shit Hit The Fan” That’s what happened.

The Halloween Party was at noon, and we are in a massive rush to get ready. I rip open the packages and toss the Larger Miss Piggy Costume on Maisy. She is delighted, it even has a purple dress, sequin gloves and a bobble necklace attached. I turn to Katie to get her ready and she is PISSED! She is red, sweaty and speechless. It became apparent that they both thought they were going to be Miss Piggy. We never talked about who was going to dress up as who!! HUGE MISTAKE!!

We were already late for the party. So, I wrangled Katie into that frog costume… imagine what it would be like to catch a greased piglet with your bare hands.  That how it went down. Mind you … I was trying my absolute best not to laugh right in their faces. Although this was stressful and upsetting – I found the comedy in all of it. Katie? Not so much. Maisy? She just kept her mouth shut in fear that I’d quickly disrobe her and stick her in the Frog costume.

Finally, after overly gushing about how there has never been a cuter Kermit The Frog in the world – Katie agreed to leave the house. Oh don’t get me wrong, she was still completely and utterly pissed, but we were off to the party.

What made this situation even funnier – is that half of Kermit stuffed animal head on the hood was too heavy to stay on top. As Katie walked around the party with a sour puss on her face, the Kermit head would continuously fall to one side. The character was completely unrecognizable, she looked more like Godzilla or a Dragon. You can’t make this shit up.

The girls are teenagers now and still talk about this specific Halloween like it was yesterday. Me? I stay out of the costume decisions now (said the liar).  I guess I’ll just have to go to confession.

 

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